Iraqapalooza: A Short History Of An Endless War, Part 3

PETREAUS (2 of 2)

    Petraeus was really selling Iran—he and Bush together said "Iran" 31 times (is that right, I lost count).

    Petraeus said "Al Qaeda" 160 times—they are maybe 20% of the insurgency.  It wasn’t a report, it was just a parrot saying "Al Qaeda" and "Iran", with pauses and bullshit in between.

    The Republican pols keep saying Moveon.org cannot say anything bad about Petraeus, Hillary was horrible for questioning his truthfulness—why?  Because he’s "not political".  Excuse me—the only government in charge in Iraq IS the military...

    And of course, Petraeus became political when Bush turned him into a human shield (remember them?) The Commander-In-Chief should have had the stones to make that "Report" himself, so "childrens can learn".

    Petraeus’ report, against the will of a majority of Americans, has been described as a "soft coup d’etat". He said he didn’t know if America is safer—of course it’s not.  Even Bush is saying "we WILL be attacked again"...

    I don’t know--I think there’s a reason Al Qaeda hasn’t attacked us again (if it WAS them in the first place)—because Bush has done so much damage to our country they don’t have to!

    Ambassador Crocker said the Iraqi government is "dysfunctional".  Bush was right—they’re getting more like us all the time!

    Even Petraeus’ superior, Admiral William Fallon, head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, called Petraeus "an ass-kissing little chickenshit".  That sure didn’t make it into the headlines.  I got it from Keith, of course.  He might have been a good soldier once--he has seven rows of medals on his chest. Most of them must be for "Brown-Nosing In The Line Of Duty".  But it’s okay, because after he fucks up totally in Iraq, Bush will give him the Presidential Medal Of Freedom.  I wonder how much those things will get at a pawnshop when all the poor fuckers who got them have to pawn them.

    Bush always talks about how we have to get the Iraqi Army to "stand up". They are standing up, George.  They’re standing up and shooting at our men because you cretins fired them all and cut off their pensions. We’re fighting a country filled with disgruntled ex-employees.  It’s like a nation of ex-post-office workers who "went postal".

    70% if Iraqis say thing are much worse since the "Surge".  But who listens to them?  They’re just there to be "liberated" and have "democracy" shoved down their throats. So shut the fuck up.

    George Packer, "Planning For Defeat", New Yorker, 9/17/07: "The Petraeus-Crocker testimony is the kind of short-lived event on which the Administration has relied to shore up support for the war: ...’Mission Accomplished’, the deaths of Uday and Qusay Hussein, Saddam’s capture, the transfer of sovereignty" (bullshit!),"the three round of voting, the Plan For Victory, the death of...al-Zarqawi.  Every new milestone, however illusory, allows the Administration to avoid thinking ahead...to when the mistakes of Iraq will continue to haunt the US."  He says the media has largely followed the Administration’s approach to the war (no shit).  Call me a crazy conspiracy theorist, but just maybe the Bushites got Paris Hilton drunk, took off Britney’s panties, got Nicole Ritchie pregnant,drugged Lindsey Lohan, set up O.J., and stole that kid in Portugal—hey, it all keeps Iraq out of the news...doesn't it...
     
    Bush says he is going to sign a "Security Pact" with Iraq, but since the government is broken and they are not legitimate, legally they don’t have the legitimacy to sign a pact with Bush.  But he’ll figure out a way...I hope if they do sign it, they add a "signing statement" voiding it.  That’s the one good thing they can learn from Bush.  "Signing" laws means nothing to him.

    Meanwhile, We’ve got them nostalgic for Saddam.  At least they knew who was killing them and why.  His sons fed people to their zoo animals, but that’s starting to look real good to them.  Iraqis are still starving, they still don’t have basic services, they’re scared to death, and 70% have no clean water.  Some of them are moving to the Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans just to better their lives...

As Bush Says, To Be Continued...

    (All my diaries are factual information culled from real sources.  Like I say onstage, "It’s all true, except for the later funny part."  For this series, I am indebted as always to "Countdown With Keith Olbermann".  Other sources include: Frank Rich in the New York Times, Thomas E. Rick’s "FIASCO", The New York Review Of Books, George Packer’s article in the New Yorker, and Larry Beinhart, AlterNet. I wish to thank  these sources and I highly recommend them all. You might want to check out my CD, "The Best Of His NSA Wiretaps", available at dougferrari.com. End of ad.)

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