White House In Crisis: Part 2 Of 3

    The title was borrowed from Keith Olbermann on "Countdown", who said that if he had to use that logo for Monica Lewinsky, it certainly should now.  It is obvious that the Bush presidency is over, but you can choose what the actual last nail in the coffin was: when twelve Republicans went into the Oval Office and told Bush he lacked all credibility and they wouldn’t accept reports on Iraq from him anymore, or when the new "Cheney" book came out and proved what we’ve all known for six years, that Bush is not the real President—take your pick.  But it’s obvious the wheels have come off the bus they’re throwing everybody under...

   (For more, please see the ongoing "Bush Scandals" series, "Gonzalesgate", "Iraqapalooza", and the upcoming "Iraqapalooza: The 50-Year War".)

    It must have been Karl Rove who said that all the Pod People including George should never say "The Democratic Party", just "The Democrat Party".  Is "Democrat" supposed to be an insult now, like "liberal"?  The party actually is Democratic, and we do actually live in a Democracy—or we did...But that stuff isn’t working anymore.

  The news talking heads always say "President Bush had a bad week..."  What about the American people?  How are WE doing, TV news lamebrain?

    The only "positive" thing Bush has to say anymore is that we have a "strong economy".  People actually bought that for years, until the mortgage bubble burst and unemployment skyrocketed and oil went to $80 a barrel. But Bush destroyed the economy years ago.  China owns us.  Hell, we owe Mexico money.  They’re going to build a wall to keep US out.

    Now there’s a credit crisis and up to three million people will lose their homes.  More work for Jimmy Carter...

    Bush has gotten us so much in debt we need to take this Administration’s credit cards and cut them in half.  This Administration’s credit is so bad the hologram bird on their VISA card is lying on his back with his feet in the air and has "X"s for eyes.

    Dick Cheney, the Supreme Leader of the Pod People, is the only one who gets to make up his own talking points:

"Americans won't support a policy of retreat".  Except by 66 to 80%.  They've just got to get him out of his freaking bunker.  Remember, he's the one who has a rider in all his hotel stays saying the TV has to be pre-tuned to Fox News.  He probably has his minions weld it there like the dial on a North Korean radio.

    Cheney lied again, this time to 100 high-schoolers in Wyoming, saying "Saddam had links to Al Qaeda" – he’s still saying that in 2007, even though Bush took that back two years ago!  He is totally off the reservation, totally off this meds, and is a loose cannon – as a hunter, literally.  Condi was trying for diplomacy with Iran, while on the same day Cheney was on a battleship off the Iranian coast threatening them with nuclear war.  Can't they get him some handlers or something?  Do an intervention?  Put an ankle bracelet on him?  Track him on satellite?  

   Medical studies show people with multiple heart attacks have personality changes and may become mentally unstable.  No shit, Sherlock.  Cheney was at a ball game and was told Jessica Simpson would sing the National Anthem.  He asked, "Is she the solider that was captured in Iraq?"  This is the man with his finger on the nuclear button for Iran. And they’re scared all right.  He can just point to the guy he shot and say, "I shot this old man in the face.  And I LIKED him..."

    New evidence now shows Cheney was behind the illegal NSA wiretapping.  What a shocker!  He's probably some kind of pervert who listens to the dirty tapes at home.  It has been reported that while he was at Halliburton, he often used hookers.  Not to touch him, just to listen to tapes of us with him.  He thanks God every day for those Patriot Acts.  Somebody should say that Republicans aren’t "patriots" just because they make their hooker wear American flag panties.

    (For all the sex scandals, see the upcoming series chapter, "Bush Scandals: Why Are The Republicans Always The Kinky Perverted Ones?")

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