New Attorney General Mukasey can’t say whether waterboarding is torture, but of course, the Democrats are voting for him anyway.

 They’ve used waterboarding at least three times, all to get false information which led us into the endless war in Iraq.  But if these sadists are going to torture around the world, why don’t they really torture?  Forget physical pain, forget waterboarding—here are my suggestions for much worse ways to drive "terrorist" detainees insane and break their spirits and souls:

    This Administration has another war that doesn’t get talked about enough: The War On Sex.

    They have sex education in our schools now that doesn’t have sex and doesn’t have education.  A landmark study proves teens subjected to "abstinence education" have sex just as much as other teens.  They’ve blown $1.5 billion of our tax dollars down the toilet on that one.    When will these clowns learn you can’t keep an entire country in a state of total fear and panic for six years and then have a war on drugs or sex?  I’m sure drinking, drugs, and sex are at an all-time high.  People want to get blown before they get blown up.

Pre-War (3 Of 3)

"If these leaders were in the military, they would be relieved of duty or court-martialed."

--General Ricardo Sanchez, October, 2007

    If you check out even just the "Pre-War" parts of this series, I think you will be astounded, as I was researching, at the incompetence, evil, madness, and gross stupidity that started from the moment Cheney and Wolfowitz, et al, planned the invasion of Iraq in the 90’s.  Read it and weep.

Pre-War (2 Of 3)

    Writing on the fifth anniversary of the (non) Declaration Of War, I’d like continue my history of the "Fight For Iraq" (MSNBC), with more on what happened before we went to war...

"We are great at the tactical problems—the killing and the breaking.  We are lousy at the strategic part."--General Anthony Zinni

"You know, these bastards in Washington have got no idea what they’re doing, and I think I’m going to retire.  I don’t want any more part of this."
--General John Abizaid, both from "State Of Denial", by Bob Woodward

Pre-War

IRAQ, HUSSEIN, AND 9/11

THIS SPACE AVAILABLE FOR RENT

2002-3

    Bush’s prime-time press conference on March 6, 2003 (his first in a year and a half), was a constant repetition of "Iraq, "Saddam", "threat", "increasing threat", "deep threat", "terrorism", and "9/11". According to Noam Chomsky, the next poll revealed that a majority of Americans believed Iraq was connected to 9/11.

    Bush isn’t just a puppet, he’s a hypnotist.  Maybe there were subliminal signals going through the transmission while he talked.  As many have said, there were no Iraqis on those planes, but there were 15 Saudis.  Bush has never mentioned that, because his dad is in bed with the Saudis.  Of course, crazies like Tom Tancredo use 9/11 to demand laws against illegal immigration, although there were no terrorists on the planes named Rodriguez, either.

    After a surprising number of Democrats voted to authorize a bill designating Democrats as "terrorists", President Bush announced today plans to begin bombing strategic sites of the Democratic Party, including the offices of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Dianne Feinstein, and the cities of San Francisco, Berkeley, Austin, Texas, and New York state.  Earlier reports of bombing targets including the offices of Senator Joseph Lieberman were erroneous.

    This culminates a six-year plan to designate Democrats as "enemies of the Homeland", and all critics of President Bush and the Administration as "...anti-American, anti-flag, anti-troops, and anti-Mom, baseball, apple pie, and torture."  The Bush Administration and all Republican radio and TV hosts have long claimed that the Democrats "help the terrorists" and "aid al-Qaeda".  

    The House is holding hearings about the evils of rap music.  Haven’t we been here before? There was Tipper Gore’s anti-rock campaign of 1985, and Lieberman and Clinton’s noise for the last few years about video games.  Don’t these people have anything important to do, like end the war, lower crime, improve education, save our infrastructure, deal with global warming...nahhh, you get more airtime attacking hip-hop.

    Republicans AND Democrats like to vilify popular culture, good or bad-—it’s a potential vote-getter, and you don’t have to deal with the real causes of violence in our country, like the fact that we have more guns than people. Rappers and video game companies don’t have a lobby. The NRA is going to beat "NWA" every time.

PETREAUS (2 of 2)

    Petraeus was really selling Iran—he and Bush together said "Iran" 31 times (is that right, I lost count).

    Petraeus said "Al Qaeda" 160 times—they are maybe 20% of the insurgency.  It wasn’t a report, it was just a parrot saying "Al Qaeda" and "Iran", with pauses and bullshit in between.

    The Republican pols keep saying Moveon.org cannot say anything bad about Petraeus, Hillary was horrible for questioning his truthfulness—why?  Because he’s "not political".  Excuse me—the only government in charge in Iraq IS the military...

PETRAEUS (1 Of 2)

    Petraeus used 13 separate color charts from Kinko’s that just parroted administration reports that say violence is down 75% in Iraq – but they don't count people who’ve been shot in the face, not the back of the head or Sunni-Sunni or Shia-Shia violence, or Kurd-Arab, or car bombs and IEDs... I’ve never seen anybody lie and bullshit so much with color
graphs.  The most complicated one was the troop drawdown—which had no dates on it! You’ve heard of number-crunching--this is number-shredding. How about not counting anyone killed by a bullet? He could claim total peace then.

    I think the best way to do a "history" of the Iraq "War" clusterfuck is to start with the extraordinary lies of our "Commander-In-Chief".  Future diaries will cover the Administration, the CPA, the billions "lost" in Iraq, the strategy, the troops’ tactics, and much more.  It’s hard to make war and death funny, but one of the best forces against a dictatorship or totalitarian regime is ridicule. It must mean something, because they absolutely hate it.  The Congress just censured a MoveOn.org ad with a pun, for God’s sakes!

    "Laughter is the best response for cutting (Ahmedinijad) down to size."
    --Richard Wolffe, Newsweek

    (For more, please see "Bush Scandals Part 4: Lying Our Country Into War", and "Iraqapalooza", under "Randy Hauser. Thank you.)

    Bush is trying to start a new cold war with Russia to cover up his clusterf--k in Iraq.  He wants to build his "nuclear defense shield", or Star Wars, or whatever they're calling that black hole of money this week, in Europe.  Putin said if he does, Putin will aim nuclear missiles at Europe.  Once again, Bush and his advisers, making friends.  

"The biggest danger is not what terrorists can do to us,
but what we do to ourselves when we’re spooked."
--Steven Flynn, former Homeland Security Advisor

    The so-called Department of "Defense", now just playing offense, couldn’t protect New York, they couldn’t protect themselves at the Pentagon from that plane (or missile, whatever), and they couldn’t  even protect the White House from United 93.  No Air Force, no Air Marshalls, no military—it was some gay passengers that brought that plane down...Well, just because they saved the White House doesn’t mean they should be allowed to get married or be allowed in the military or anything...(See below).

By Randy Hauser And Doug Ferrari

    With so many Bush Adminstration scandals happening every day, it can be hard to keep track.  So this is a handy Clip & Save Guide, which you can print out and make into flashcards.  We use this guide to play "Bush Scandal Bingo" when we watch the news.  When they mention one of your scandals, you have to do a shot.  We came up with a lot, and here's a few more.  (For "Part One" and "Part Two", see Randy Hauser's Page.)

    I got some criticism on Part One from a DailyKoser who accued me of bashing Ann Coulter for maybe being transgender.  I apologized and edited my last diary.  

    I wasn’t bashing Coulter for her gender choices, although it came off that way and I did it wrong. I was bashing her for calling John Edwards a "faggot", a word I believe is reserved for gays only, just like the n-word should not be used by someone who is not African-American (Michael Richards' career, where are you?; I am calling out Ann Coulter for being an intolerant, hateful person who has called for the deaths of many individuals by name on national television, in her books, and in her columns. She also called attention paid to the Claude Allen controversy (Bush adviser arrest for shoplifting from Target) "Revenge Of The Queers". I will try to be more clear in the future: I JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU LAUGH. Now, on with the show.  

    The "conservative", Bush-worshipping, fanatical fear-and-hate mongering, flag-waving, felony-committing, serial-lying, bestselling-book authoring, bile-spewing radio and TV talk-show hosts have gone completely insane, and aren’t helping Bush at all anymore.  Now we lefties all know they’re crazy, but they have tens of millions of rabid listeners and viewers, so attention must be paid.  What are these poor Americans hearing from these off-the-chain Pod People?  Let’s review.

    The title was borrowed from Keith Olbermann on "Countdown", who said that if he had to use that logo for Monica Lewinsky, he certainly should use it now.  

    It is obvious that the Bush presidency is over, but you can choose what the actual last nail in the coffin was: when twelve Republicans went into the Oval Office and told Bush he lacked all credibility and they wouldn’t accept reports on Iraq from him anymore, or when the new "Cheney" book came out and proved what we’ve all known for six years, that Bush is not the real President—take your pick.  

    (For more, please see the ongoing "Bush Scandals" series--Part One And Two written with Randy Hauser, so look them up under his name--"Gonzalesgate", "Iraqapalooza", and the upcoming "Iraqapalooza: The 50-Year War".)

    The title was borrowed from Keith Olbermann on "Countdown", who said that if he had to use that logo for Monica Lewinsky, it certainly should now.  It is obvious that the Bush presidency is over, but you can choose what the actual last nail in the coffin was: when twelve Republicans went into the Oval Office and told Bush he lacked all credibility and they wouldn’t accept reports on Iraq from him anymore, or when the new "Cheney" book came out and proved what we’ve all known for six years, that Bush is not the real President—take your pick.  But it’s obvious the wheels have come off the bus they’re throwing everybody under...

   (For more, please see the ongoing "Bush Scandals" series, "Gonzalesgate", "Iraqapalooza", and the upcoming "Iraqapalooza: The 50-Year War".)

By Doug Ferrari, Comedian

    The title was borrowed from Keith Olbermann on "Countdown", who said that if he had to use that logo for Monica Lewinsky, it certainly should now.  It is obvious that the Bush presidency is over, but you can choose what the actual last nail in the coffin was: when twelve Republicans went into the Oval Office and told Bush he lacked all credibility and they wouldn’t accept reports on Iraq from him anymore, or when the new "Cheney" book came out and proved what we’ve all known for six years, that Bush is not the real President—take your pick.  But it’s obvious the wheels have come off the bus they’re throwing everybody under...

    (For more, please see the ongoing "Bush Scandals" series, "Gonzalesgate, "Iraqapalooza", and the upcoming "Iraqapalooza: The Fifty-Year War".)